in my best seinfeld cadence… what’s the deal with snacks??

please tell me that your household has a snack problem. and by ‘problem’, i don’t mean the amount of snacks you have or don’t have in your home. i mean the constant need for the next snack.

i’ve never seen anything like it. i was completely unprepared for such a daunting and all-consuming barrage of incessantly repetitive snack questioning. no one told me that this would be one of the most challenging parts of parenting.

let me tell you. it is wild times.

it starts out innocently. ‘can i have a snack?’ sure, that seems like a fairly basic and unobtrusive question. DO NOT BE FOOLED. that harmless little number can turn into a nightmare within seconds.

‘are there any snacks? what can i have for a snack? should i take a snack? did you remember to buy snacks? when can i have my next snack? does this count as a snack? how many snacks do i get? will you be mad if i ask for a snack? i just really love snacks.’

my youngest daughter was chewing her last bite of dinner, while walking her plate to the sink and out of the corner of her mouth she managed to ask me if she could get herself a snack.

i think that was the day my children first learned that adults cry too.

i wonder what it is about the snack that makes it so enticing? why does that little midday/late afternoon/before bed morsel have such a hold on my children? is it the small portion? is it cuter and more fun than a meal? do they like making me wash several small bowls at a time?

or is it much more simple than that.

it’s not as if snacks = junk food. crackers and popcorn are their immediate go to, followed closely by cheese. but once we’re past that, we’re straight into fruit, yogurt, and cut-up veggies with hummus. it’s not like their hoofin’ back chocolate bars and cans of pop all day long. (which, by the way, was my after school snack every day in high school – while watching the carol burnett show)

i’ve asked them what’s so special about snacks. (i’m dying to get any kind of clear answer on this subject). they just laugh, shrug and roll their eyes. either they don’t actually know or i’ll just never get it. it’s like some super secret inside info and unless you’re a kid, you’re out of the loop.

mama? don’t even try to understand snacks.

so, i give up. snacks win. i am now the proud owner of a snack cupboard overflowing with possibility. it’s full to the brim with every sweet, salty, crunchy, chewy bag and box that your heart desires. a real treasure trove for the snack-obsessed.

and directly beside it hangs a sign that reads: kitchen closes at 7pm.

i may not have won the war, but at least i can put it on pause by a respectable hour every evening.

don’t even get me started on treats…

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